When I neglect myself.

Yeah I realize sometimes I neglect even myself.
At lately, it's true I am being a bit more of an, egoist.

I love to give, my friends know that, but lately I noticed that when I give, I don't get back, normally I don't need it, but sometimes I realize that I don't even get back the slightest thank yous.

I have been trying to distract my mind with a lot of things.Trying to have fun, to do something I like. School was stressfull, but also very....irritating at times.
And now I finally am at peace, and trying to get myself thinking positively again, see things on the bright side, give attention to myself, something I haven't done in a while.

But when someone expects me to give them all my attention, I can't help but just think "Shut up."
I sound mean, I know, but that's really what I think. Especially since I know I won't 'get' anything out of it than just having my energy reduce to 0. I still can't help but be like 'shut up'.

And then I wonder, if I am a bad person, or am just misunderstanding myself.
Know that I pretend, to be stupid sometimes. But believe me, I know more than most can imagine. But lately....when someone tries to outsmart me, I can't help but think 'Shut up."
I am not stupid. Do not outsmart me. I won't care.

Of course all I just do it be quiet. And say nothing. Sometimes I accept it, because I know a lot of people who try to help me, that's cool, I can use help. But I know when someone tries to belittle me.....