Remember being a little girl, I always used to tell my mom.
"I wanna marry a handsome prince who is smart and carring! <3 "
She still thinks that way, not that I mind. But I used to love those thoughts.
But. I feel unhappy.
I feel unease, and I don't know what to do with it anymore.
It annoys the crap out of me. And I just get annoyed, and annoyer of it.
I thought I could handle it. But....it's just getting me.
I want to feel protected and loved to you know. I don't just want to give, because I believe that's all I am doing, and to be honest, it's making me sick.
At this time, I wish I could turn fucking time. I am sick and tired of it.
Bah. It's always me. me. me and me, and EVERY single DAY.
So no. I am not desperate for anything at all, I just wish I was a cute little girl, without any worries, and not having someone ranting every single day.
I wish I was a guy.
It's as if I am not allowed to be happy at all! Like today, I had a good walk with my brother trough Amsterdam, I visited my friends, and talked, and made everything ready for the weekend.
But as soon as I come home, It's fucking drama all over again, and it ruins my mood because I am always the one to get blamed. I am appareantly to insensitive, and cold, and all I can hear are rants and rants.
Apareantly, I am always the one doing the bad.
And now, we get fucking called after midnight, for more drama. What the FUCK, seriously, this is the worst ever.
I feel like being single now.
